| 1) |
"A recession is when your neighbour loses his job. A depression is when you lose yours." |
| 2) |
"It's dog-eat-dog in this business, and I'm at the bottom of the food chain." |
| 3) |
"Management - an activity or art where those who have not yet succeeded and those who have proved unsuccessful are led by those who have not yet failed." |
| 4) |
"Under capitalism Man exploits Man. Under socialism it's just the opposite." |
| 5) |
"A successful manager is one who believes in sharing the credit with the person who did the work." |
| 6) |
"The Managing Director is the only member of staff who can take a day off without hindering production." |
| 7) |
"An economist is an expert who tells you tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today." |
| 8) |
"Money doesn't go as far as it used to, but at least it goes faster." |
| 9) |
"I don't know how we're going to manage without you, but we're going to try." |
| 10) |
"A fool and his money are easily parted." |
| 11) |
Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done.” |
| 12) |
Quote from the Boss: "I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you." |
| 13) |
A motivational sign at work: "The beatings will continue until morale improves." |
| 14) |
The Boss said to me: "What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier." |
| 15) |
Quote from the Boss after overriding the decision of a task force he created to find a solution: "I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression your input would have any effect on my decision for the outcome of this project!" |
| 16) |
Human Resource Manager to job candidate: "I see you've had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you're under-qualified for our entry level positions." |
| 17) |
Quote from telephone inquiry: "We're only hiring one summer intern this year and we won't start interviewing candidates for that position until the boss's daughter finishes her summer classes." |